There are times when we are just so overwhelmed by the way life is going. We are so distressed that we don't even know how to pray, so we just sigh and groan. But the holy spirit takes these sighs and groans and turns them into prayers to our father.

No matter what is happening, god is going to take your present circumstances and make the good out of the bad.but His ultimate goal is to take all that happens, the good and the bad, happy and the sad, and make us more like Jesus.

Because that is the objective and endgame for every believer.

I felt better after reading this. Cuz i know God hears my sighs and groans!

I know you'll choose him and you'll choose her
Why do i lose the people most impt to me?

Don't ask why.
Say, ok.
I'm willing to sacrifice, are you? I know if i don't catch you now, I'll never.

Got a long night ahead of me.
Idk why but things still doesn't feel the same as it used to.
Up till now.
But I'm trying my best to make it seem like how its supposed to be.

I HATE THE WEATHER IM DEHYDRATING.
gah.
im in a sian mood.
i havent done any work cuz i was so bloody stressed yst.
and I realised i didnt bring back my chinese test to do corrections and its due tmr im so freaking dead.
gah. I want to pon school tmr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop putting yourself down.

Failed a math. Like most, or at least half, i studied and failed.
Know how it feels like to feel like you're at the top of the world.
Know how it feels like to crash and burn.
When someone gets lousier then you, just shut up.
I'm glad i did that yst cuz its so annoying when someone talks to you like that.
Just give em some air and she'll be fine by recess.

KEEP MOVING FORWARD. - Mr Robinson. Not from TK, from Meet the Robinsons the movie.
Haha.

GloriaNgSimin Its one thing to have a negative emotion and another to cause someone else to have a negative emotion. 24minutes ago.

Well got some real good results today PTL.
It feels weird, once again.
Cuz i didn't want to be all braggy and i actually felt stressed, just being afraid that I'd say something wrong and hurt others. So i just sat there. Feeling so awkward.
I know how it feels like to get lousy results and see others get better than you.
Esp if its someone who usually does avg only.

Well don't wanna stress myself too much by having high expectations.
Cuz I'll feel so lousy if i do badly.
People always say, aim high.
But nah. Just do your best.
You'll be pleasantly surprised if you do well.
But if you don't, just keep moving forward!

Its so cool how my results has been getting better ever since i decided to sit down and do my hmwk everyday.

Kk I'm in a preachy mood.
Really like my tuition teacher. I learn a lot of life values from him.
There are 4 aspects of life. School. Family. Health. Leisure.
You know. I'm never gonna be the kind who gives up my family health and leisure for school.
Yes, i know its impt to study so my future will be bright.
But what's the point if i get good results and lose everything else??
Damn. Life is short. Live it!

Like what our principal Mr Lee always say, do things in moderation.
All 4 aspects must coexist together.
Do not neglect anyone of them!
Or you'll turn out dumb, broken, fat and lonely. Hahahaha

I try to hide it so that no one knows, but i guess it shows when you look into my eyes.

I'm not going cause I've been waiting for a miracle
And I'm not leaving, I won't let you
Let you give up on a miracle, when it might save you

I didn't make it seem so but today was a terrible and painful day.
Sigh. Time to pop pills

Oral was ok. Glad that i could understand the question and it wasn't the ' tell me a time' type.
But definitely could have done better. When i walked out of the hall much better ideas came to my head.

Lol. I got 15/20 for Chinese summary LOL
But i got 14/30 for English summary and failed compre-.-

I seem to be good at human geog! Consistently good.
I like these tests, less study more crap.

Bloop.

O lord our lord how majestic is your name in all the earth
O lord our lord how majestic is your name in all the earth
The heavens declare your greatness
The oceans cry out to you
The mountains they bow down before you.

English oral tmr!
Just hope topic isn't those 'tell me a time about'
I blank out.

God, life is short.
I should be thankful that I'm alive and well...

It sucks cuz things have never been the same. I really miss the good old times.

gloria says:
there are a lot of smart and cocky people and the world who keep knowledge to themselves and just refuse to help those weaker ones. those selfish bastards. I'm damn glad you're not one of 'em (((:

im really really touched how some friends i know are willing to go the extra mile for me, willing to teach me things i dont know but am supposed to know. and these are friends who are doing academically well. I mean, some other people nowadays are so selfish and cocky. they only want themselves to do well and see others as competitors.
(perhaps they think im too lousy that's why they dont mind helping me haha)
but those people are like cockheads man. srsly.

Kudos to those who are generous and patient. le yu zhu ren.
damn these people, i really gotta look up to them.

you know, I have a feeling that if I were academically well to do, I would be one of those cockheads... so arrogant.
Thank God for making me a lazy person. Now that I know how it feels like to be lazy and suck big time, i've gotta be hardworking and rock the world, but at the same time empathize for others, dont be a cockhead.

In the future when im getting really good results, I can tell myself, I know what it feels like to hate cockheads, so dont be one.

Yesterday was the worst test ever. Among all the As and Bs I've been getting, there's gonna be a big red F.
I can't believed how angry i was at the test yst. But its all over now.
Oral coming!! Gah.
When I'm angry i get violent when I'm sad i get depressed.
Its normal.

Last night I tried to flip my house over in attempt to recover from "memory loss".
Failed miserably and so I gave up. lol! move on yea?

Today feels better than the past few days.
;)

flashbacks.

I think I have amnesia. How timely.
-
today was pretty alright! believing for more and greater things!
-
ffff me im jealous.
bear with it, bear with it.
-
'I've never cried so much in a year. compared to other years, this year is the most.'
brother, though you didn't see through me, know you're not alone.
I might be a 100 times more vulnerable than last year, but perhaps i've grown more compassionate too.

even now, im so vulnerable i can fall to pieces just being attacked by words.
but like in today's video, I know God can heal my wounds.
I used to really hate vulnerability. I used to think it showed people my weakness. I hated weakness. that resulted in my hardened heart.
I might be able forget some happy and bad times, but i'll always rmb the horrible times.
And though I'm hurting 1000 times more than I used to, I rather hurt than shut myself from God and the world.

People, don't harden your hearts cuz when you wake up, it really hurts.

GloriaNgSimin
Like stories, gifts require inspiration.
less than 5 seconds ago via web.
-
I would have been waiting for time to pass, this time last year, all planned out.
But now I'm still scrambling for ideas.
Put me in a good mood please.

If I didnt, this wouldnt.
damn why did I.........

I won't lie, I'm damn disappointed. I dreamt of things much bigger than this. But the turn up is just go discouraging. Its better than none but 1 is just too little.

Why is it that I'm losing so much these days?
Gah its so frustrating.
I really don't know what to do abt it.

-
The worst thing is that when you're in the depths, and you know you're all alone and there's no one there to pull you up. Yea, there's God, but sometimes we want other kinds of help.
Its depressing . Fml

was cooking lunch for sister and I, and something came across my mind.
"Sometimes, we forget how lucky we are"

I dont feel patriotic this year.

All the best for NDP to Kristine, Jovii, Hannah and the rest(?)......

I'll take that as a second chance. *dances around the room
Just came home, spent 14hours outside today.
I haven't bathed in more than a day . But I'm so lazy and tired I'll bathe tmr:p
Though i feel damn disgusting.

Its a new day!
Finger cramp x2 during day of his power lol!

Daddy's the only nice one around who's willing to go out and get me a midnight snack!
I'm blessed.

It is said, some people lose their only true best friend they will ever have.
-
You have abundance of what I lack. You'll be fine. That's what matters, right?

You told me, commitment, selflessness. I hope this fulfills.

God, I had doubted my commitment, but I had never doubted my selflessness.
Indeed, the message was from You. Thanks for reminder, but perhaps by the time I took it seriously, it was all too late. Regrets do not change anything.

It was really hurtful. just really really painful
sigh.

You know me best, you should know how I'm shattering.

love the way you lie.

Now I know we said things, did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me

Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fistat the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games

I just wanna be alone tonight
I just wanna take a little breather.
Cuz lately all we do is fight
And every time it cuts me deeper

...............................

You know, there should be definition for everything in life.
last week, i was looking for the definition for a word, something/someone that is pretty impt in my life.
happy thoughts flashed across my mind as i thought of all the fortunate and everlasting irreplaceable memories i had.
then a qn turned back to me, could I be defined as that word?
I definitely could not. Far from it, in fact.
Scrolling through the list of varying personal definitions from users all over the world... I found too many.
But all of them were right.

And when the question pointed back at me, I realized how much more I had to change, how much I had been flawed all these while.
It was good actually, I realized I had to change. Self improvement.
I used to think that I was enough.
-
Ptl for more good results. I'm so unused to doing well!
hahaha! im not joking ._.

The weather's such a B today. Felt so dead during last 2 lessons. Laid out my plans for this 2 months. A little hectic.
Oh and ptl for chem, oral and geog marks. :)

A very long time since I've seen an A for my math! YAY. Ptl:)
Let's go determination! Booking study dates with ppl:)

Taking a a break from studying! Seems like I'm off to a good start. Was just thinking abt something.
What do i study for? Parents, get into good jc, money, friends?
Although i study for all that, my main objective is to do really well in life. Cuz i know the only way i can be successful in the economic world today is to do well in school. My only ticket to wealth and to a certain extent happiness is first by getting a good education.

What do you study for?

there goes my midterm break!
I must tell myself, I have played enough and I must study now.
and I WILL STUDY.
yeah.
been out everyday last week.
but that's it.

cmon people LET'S MUG FOR O'S!
AAAAAH.
*war cry*
-
The heavens declare Your greatness
The oceans cry out to You
The mountains they bow down before You
So I'll join with the earth and I'll give my praise to You

Haha, today was so ----------.
omg in school i was like so troubled,
i couldnt decide what to do in the afternoon.
i had too many options..........
in the end went pp with s and d.
im embarrassed and shy and so i'll skip this part :X

haha. then went to st margret's.
epic fail i wasn't prepared to talk to security guard.
but got what i came for man.
then...............
you know, i have been to places which i wasn't supposed to. I have bought things and took things that I wasn't supposed to.
I have been pretty sneaky.
But never had I ever taken another person's identity!
LOOOOOOL.
omg it was almost fail.
perhaps the person suspected me :S
hahaha. thank god the principal ( of a school i had NEVER ATTENDED) wasnt in.
almost kena have to meet her. i wouldnt know what to do sia.

its prolly not what you ppl think,
but anw it was a hell of an experience.
and actually im glad i did experience it.
i learnt to act and manipulate. hahaha.
what a day.

and someone owes me a movie for postponing so many times -.-

Would you trust someone who you'd been good friends with for four years or a real close friend that you had learned to trust for a year?
And it gets really complicated when both are each other's enemies.
I really don't know who to trust.
I had seen one change a lot all these years,
I had heard not very nice things abt the other.
But both are real good to me.
Its getting confusing now cuz one is imposing a ban on me from making contact w the other.

Well. Happy birthday jiejie!!
I'll play happy birthday on the guitar for you when you come back.
It'll be a major screw up cuz i can't even switch chords but that doesn't matter eh!
Its the thought that counts :) lub lub

A true friend won't blow you off for someone else. or at least she'd tell you in advance.
it wasn't abt company, it was abt whether you had cared at all.
i dont like to send sms-es twice.

either you reply or you ignored it.
fyl.

-
this is the exact feeling that triggers it all.
disappointment, unhappiness, anger.....
then there's this voice in your head that tells you exactly how to take it all away.

Many answers and ideas can be found on the internet.
But there's one thing that you can never find it there, though many alternatives are provided.
But none of them satisfy you. Cuz you crave perfection. Not too cliche, something deep, something priceless.
You want everything to be perfect so you plan months ahead.

Stressing out sia.

It killed me to say those words today. Gah.
Killed me .

My fingers are so numb now, ty mr koh for today.

I am so exhausted now.

Daddy's back. please fix the toilet!
apparently, the plumber ran away -.-
toooooooooot. hahahahhaha.

1. pump soccer and bballs
2. spend some time with friends
3. pick up some guitar skills

ploop.

i feel so emotional after watching a documentary. on jellyfish.
i hate jellyfish to the core man!!!!!!!!!!:@@@@@@
keep killing ppl though its so darn tiny.
KEEP KILLING MY YUMMY FISH.
reproducing like ___ machine.
I want to like eliminate all jellyfish in the world now.

I actually felt happy when i saw fishermen killing the jellyfish (:
but later i found out that when they do that, billions of jellyfish eggs are released -.-

why did God create jellyfish :(((
unhappy sia.
they're like, ultimate venom weapon.

Choose between 'bro' or 'bro' ?
Who would you trust

my first time, my heart was racing, my hands were turning cold.
I didnt know if i was gonna make it through.............
debating within myself about which excuse to use.
and it was over in 2 minutes. own.
let's party.

I wanna marry i man with music talent.
I'm so jealous of talented musicians.
My right fingers bled and my left fingers went numb yesterday.
Last night was cool.
Drums are freaking cool but it'd be awesome if i could play guitar as well.

the friends i have really open my eyes to the world.
i say again, LOOKS ARE DAMN DECEIVING!!!
omg. really, people are never what they seem :(

I think I'm really v lousy and loser-ish at times. Tsk.
-
I bet I'm the only stupidd one out there who's preparing for tmr's e math test:( well better be safe then sorry don't wanna waste my marks on stupid careless mistakes and end up w a scolding from mom. And e math is so easy i hope its as easy as those past year papers in the book.

Really really don't like tense situations. On one side i wanna stay by what i believe in, but on the other hand i do not want to be some dumb fool and close my ears to everything i don't want to hear. When people say things that conflict with what i believe in, i feel quite insulted but i don't want to argue and makes the atmosphere so hostile. So i try to keep quiet and just listen to everyone's view. I want to know what are other ppl's perspective to all this. I don't want to bimenzaoche . Or is it jingdizhiwa.

Yea everyone's entitled to their own view..
How i wish everyone had the same abt religion.
Sigh. I feel like its my fault now.. what i thought was good turned out to become something bad..

Really don't know what to do when stuff like these happen

I think that thinking that you have a brain tumor is just a phase that everyone faces . facing it now! goodness.

rest your hand (:

Yesterday was the first time i heard someone sing opera-ish and honestly thought. THAT'S DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN AWESOME. Woah! Power sia.

And i hate falling asleep in the audi:( scary.

its funny how when i study for tests, i dont do so well.
and when i dont study i do well.
i shouldnt have studied for chem today man, im not gonna do well :/

LOL. i just survived 9 hours in school today!
another 8.5 tmr, then 7, then 8.5, then 8.

Sometimes people just need to know that they're not the only ones suffering.

9 hours of school tmr. And i can't drink coffee. Oh my gosh.
Its ok Jesus suffered a hundred millions times worse than this for me.

Today during worship, God spoke to me- believe it or not i hardly ever hear anything from him.
"Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil,for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me."

Yea thats what i needed to know. That though it seems that others have failed me, I'm not alone.

All that i am, all that i have,
I lay them down before you o lord.
All my regrets, all my acclaims,
The joy and the pain I'm making them yours.

Lord i offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord i offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord i offer you my life.

-
lead me not into temptation and deliver me from the evil one.

On the way back home tonight. I was thinking, why couldn't our lives be so much more easy such that we did not have to hide our feelings and emotions in front of others, and we did not have to cover our faces whenever we were outside.
Why do we have to put on such a front when we're dying inside?

I'm out of energy already.

Ok, I'm home now. Pull it together and walk through that door.
Its a vicious cycle.

This is so so so absurd. I'm really really dumbfounded. The world is crazy. My world is crazy. I really can't believe it. Oh my . The hidden truth is bloody gay. I don't know how to feel now. Really. I just feel like tearing up my undone homework and lie on the bed with my eyes wide open cuz i can't freaking sleep now. I feel like swearing but i can't cuz I'm fasting on swear words. God are you trying to push me to the limit. You know these few weeks, everything has been pointing to one single thing that i simply refuse to believe. The world must have more heart than this. Someone out there i beg you to prove me wrong.


But perhaps its not the world, but its me.

If whatever just happened is true, my life had been just a lie.whatever i had always believed in. What was hope in my eyes. None of which was real. My comeback. No. Nothing.

in future, i will not let my child drink alcohol till 16.
its actually really bad. it gives me a strong urge to drink when things go bad. like ah, people say, drink away your troubles- i'll prolly end up dead on the other side of the road.
alcoholism, bad.
-

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now.
-
my whole right leg is hurting so much right now :(
sigh why did i run for the bus.
hope i recover soon! - on the other hand, i finally have a real reason for taking the lift to geog class.

omg. I think I feel what you feel.
but not to such an extent.

what an understatement.

i think, its outside where its easier for ppl to maintain composure.
because when they're home alone, their thoughts run wild and they're most vulnerable.
gosh is bloody scary.

i think its just like, phases.

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain,
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh.
'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break, no it don't
break, no it don't break even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces.

You know what. I think i screwed my muscles today. All week long my thighs were aching from Sunday's prints. And today's shuttle run really did something to it. Thank God for Joyce or i would have lost my dignity. Haha. My legs are not aching, they feel numb and v tight.

And on queer headache thing came back again:( sigh. WOrst of times dude.

Life is so ______ i wanna run to a corner and stuff my head into a box.
What's new?

No one's that happy really.
Everyone's (faking) smiling and making jokes all the time trying to make life seem better and less sad.

And that's just so sad. Its making life seem like a burden.
Why couldn't we have been born in heaven.?

Oh god. Speech day totally ruined my day.
Not cuz of the event itself. I was actually really happy and proud of my friends who had achieved the award..
But when i came home my mom asked me who got the prizes and stuff and well the usual names came up.
Then she started all that talk abt how lousy my work is and how I'm an under achiever and how i will surely not get into a good jc. And how I'm neither as smart or hardworking as others. -.-

Sigh. _^_

When all your plans just have to fall on that single free day, prioritize and choose which item to miss out on.
i definitely know my priorities and those which are not important to me ;)) haha.

When you're good, you're the best.
When you're bad, you're the worst.

The Lord provides yea!!! Last night slept at 9 cuz i was feeling so tired!!!! So i only did my Chinese corrections then straightaway sleep. Mother didn't nag at me i think she prolly knew how tired i was. - my wc alarm woke the whole house. So had some really really good night sleep. And i had Chinese spelling and history full paper the next day. I didn't even take out my history book.
CHINESE SPELLING WAS MAGNIFICENT I SURE PASS !!!!! Damn happy:)
-i was chionging all the way since school started.
History test was rather not bad:) Germany came out and i had studied for it more than twice i think. :) and i chiong it in between:)

Today was a good but slightly chaotic day man..
Well i was attentive in class. Did not doze off or sleep or feel sleepy at all!-kopi
Coffee really benefits me! And on top of that, Mrs T indirectly praised me -and others:)
Yea. I like it when teachers praise me hahaha

Post world cup syndrome! Was so sleepy today! Many ppl in my class were too:) yea WC. Lol. Today during a math lecture. Funneh. I was dozing off. - for real, when i say I'm dozing off means i really am and not cuz i think its cool to sleep in class- then i suddenly realised, in my semi consciousness, that my head was heading towards the table !!! Then i suddenlm woke up and rescued my face from a collision with the desk. I felt like i was fainting. Lol. Just semi conscious-ish

GOD GIVE ME LESS THAN 10PTS AND 5 A1s FOR O LEVELS PLZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!

its my chance to strike some big cash!

STOP HARASSING HIM!!! >:((((
LOL~

I have this sudden urge to push someone!

it was so weird i fell asleep on the sofa this afternoon and woke up feeling so dehydrated and sickly.

went to bathe and decided that i will never sleep on the sofa ever again.

._.

q

u

e

e

r

.

I'm so glad i only reheard 'sleepless nights' by faber drive after i had gotten over it. Really. Its scary how i feel the song

Life thought. Family or freedom?
Some people I've asked see it this way.
Family = no freedom
No family = freedom.
But really, i believe we can have both.

Solo by Iyaz is such an awful song.
its just that 1 line spoils the song! -.-

really gotta do some work this weekend!
but sooooo darn lazy laaa.

I feel free, I complain.
I feel busy, I complain.
-.-

Heart Heart Heartbreak by blg sounds so unoriginal.

k off to do something productive.

Past few days had begun with a cup of coffee and a special time of learning. Not gonna chiong hmwk every morning now. Coffee has a great effect on me. I don't feel so sleepy in class now. I'll need a heavy dose of caffaine tmr though. Heavy.
If you start your day with a positive attitude, nothing will go wrong:)

Guess what. Coffee sucks the life out of me. Esp at night. Zzz

Not even the one who you feel closest to you can be trusted. What's the world turning into?

Why must there be family, relatives, school mates, church mates, best friends when ultimately the only person you can turn to and trust and will be forever is not in this list?
Why did God make our lives intertwine?

Life thoughts. Life thoughts.


P.s. my scheme damn fail can. It was so perfect until i found out that world cup on sat starts at 2.30am. Sob.

My life is sucking all over. And i know who is behind all this

A broken marriage = a broken family.

Note to self. If i ever fight with my husband, don't do it in front of my kids.

Sigh its either I'm naive abt all this or its really as serious as it seems.
But my family can't function without either of my parents.

I dont like it when ppl cheat my feelings :(
woah seriously . so annoying -.-

my pool skills were so lousy yst!!
but i still won. LOL -.-

yst me and sister were fighting over a top. cuz i planned to wear it today and she wanted to wear it today.
I think she hid it or something cuz I couldnt find it last night!!!!
then in the end i was like thinking, ugh wtv la shirt only -.-
this morning, she decided to let me wear! but i didnt feel like wearing so i let her wear. lol.
...z.

watching tv w papa.

i find it quite funny/unusual/queer sometimes.
like, my dad has been to china 54327859632875685 times, whereas the rest of my family hasnt actually been there before. - except for mother who went there for a day.
and the only time i went, it was school trip.
so ironical!!
the rest of us aren't big fans of china,.
and well its hard for dad to arrange fixed holidays w us these days....


andand.
the building that he had done like 25 years ago w his prev company, I get lost in it all the time -.-

slack day tdy.
weekends = hmwk and books don't you get close to me.

If i tell myself I'm tired i will be.
If i tell myself I'm happy, i will be.
-
Just came home not long ago.
2 things that really striked me today. Don't you find yourself quite at a spot sometimes. Like when you're facing the exact same problem that someone just ranted to you and asks you for advice. On one hand you yourself isn't coping well. You can't exactly provide any real source of comfort but just an answer you hope is true.

It was as if i was put there on purpose. Like i was part of a plan that fell PERFECTLY INTO PLACE. its pretty insane. From spending the exact amount of time at the mall, catching the train right on time, to reaching the station right on time to sprint to the arrived bus.
Or it was a darn crazy coincidence.

Thank God! I made it through last night!! Didn't fall asleep while doing 2000character tingxie corrections! It'll be the last time I'll ever do it. Bloody waste of time. Sigh and today's retest confirm fail.. sorry guys, he'll make us bu kao again -.-
Well happier thoughts!
Today was miraculously great! Even though i spent 4 hours completing my corrections till 12 i still made it through the day!
Pe was a blast! Our team's pretty good:)
Then during Chinese, teacher asked who never finish hmwk. More than half the class, including me, stood up. Hahaha. Deadline extension:)
And Chinese tuition was so funny today!! Hahaha.

Papa's coming back tonight:)

And last night was SO FUNNY CAN I WANTED TO LAUGH OUT LOUD BUT MY SIS SURE THINK I'M CRAZY

Why is it that only after i face rejection and loneliness that i realise there's that someone still there for me?

I'm in a drinking mood~

so much for sucking up

Today is such a demoralizing day :(((((
Can't believe Mrs L was so harsh....
:(
it really woke me up after she said that.
literally.
sigh.
.
.
.
she could have easily crushed all my hopes and led me into depression..
but no, im just real sad now.

Never had I heard ever a teacher say that so out right and direct.
I need to get help else where I guess.

I want a complete family too, don't you?
People always say that its alright cuz they understand the priority and that the sacrifice is worth it.
But its all a lie. That's not how the really feel.
How do I know?

Because i say that too.

Truly, you are real, but wwhere are you now?

I feel like I'm having CE lesson during tuition.
I learn more character values than chinese.

Today = spending spree.

orchard.

things doesn't seem to be smooth these days.
but, i dont want to bother abt such petty issues.

All the right words but all the wrong faces.

loll.
ok back from study camp!
I'd say this camp was both unfruitful and fruitful :P
unfruitful cuz i didnt manage to finish up my hmwk :/
but got do la of cuz!
my cell ppl really hardworking sia! really gotta learn from them......
must hardcore NAO.

fruitful cuz I learnt new skill!
HAHAHAHHAHA, OMG
1) COOOKING SKILLS FROM RUJIA~~
2) HARMONIZING FROM DEB. LOOOOL!!!!
hhahahha. omg so funneh.
last night, we stayed up till like 1+, just singing and doing some weird shit im embarrassed to say.
and well. learning to harmonize!
woah deborah is really a GREAT SINGER!!!
proud o' her man.
k. thus, i look forward to my next kbox session.

laser quest today was fun!
hahaha. goodness.
damn good exercise lor.
runrunrun like SIAO. SCREAM LIKE SIAO.
after the 1st round we all damn shagged liao.
headache, light headed.
craaaazy yo!
1st round: i was ranked 9 out of 10!
.......... LOL.
2nd round: 4 out of 10!!
\m/

okay. woah we prepare for almost EVERY MEAL!
(i was the junior/trainee chef)
haha. okay. definitely picked up some skills!

well other than those fun and crazy stuff,
I've really got some thinking to do......
sigh. Sometimes I find it really hard to connect .

Thank God for the right words today.
.
.
.
.
Wished my face didnt turn red so easily.

The world might not believe me. But You always had.
Others might misunderstand me. But You know me inside out.

It's really good to know that even if the world is against me, You're always here to back me up.

A burdened gift.
How's that?

Time has always been a fair test of someone's faith, commitment and passion.

JAAAAAAAMING IS SUPER UBER DUPER FUN CAN!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It was definitely worth it to spend 10 bucks on cab fare and be late for tuition( -.- ) for this!!! :DDDDDDD
OMGOMGOMGGGGG.

MUST GO AGAIN SIA.

MADE MY DAAAAAAAAY DUDES.

I WANNA FORM A BAND.

and I was damn surprised i could still play!
omg like i rmb that 4 useless lessons in sec 1
k not useless, just very simple that i could have learned on my own.
and lucky i had been self learning these years lo!
actually drums is quite easy lor.
drum fills anyhow hit also can sound nice. (with timing)
a little skill and some confidence ((:

Plan A.

Somehow, I feel that the amt of hmwk is pretty manageable.
after playing for 2 whole days.
gonna try to get some done tonight and tmr morn.

Plan A! (Y)
Not tipsy, just turned red for at the last moment.
failll. hahahhaha.
I think everyone's darn sick of Final Destination alr!
the movie so lousy can!!
For once, people noticed that i eat a lot!! :D :P :)

My first time at K box! LOL~
omg. hahahha.
quite exciting ;D
for a moment i thought I was gonna puke cuz I was jumping too much right after my lunch.

seriously.
I like to pretend im a superstar.

"Noddin' my head like YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (metal-screamo LOL)"

If it didnt cost that much, i'd go every week.
-
I'm getting the, oh nothing went wrong the first time, so imma do something even more dangerous and bold.
or, i want more thrill.

I have a really bad feeling......

oh goodness :/
my sleeping pattern's changed such that no matter how late i sleep, I end waking up at 7 or 8 :(
i dont know why I cant sleep any later than that........

I DREAMT THAT I GOT 5 POINTS FOR PRELIM. RAW SCORE.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!

You know, sometimes people forget how special they are.
-

Pray for self-control, hope things won't go too far....
its funny how people know the consequences, but yet still wanna go for it.
its the thrill, i guess ;) haha

Today as pretty gooood!

Glad X came (:

I have to praise my momma again man.

she damn merciful and graceous.

I was late for dinner, but she nv scold me, happy watching tv ;D

hahhaha.

cool.

and i really spent a lot of $$ these days :(

Me: Can ask daddy buy lunch for me?
Mom: You go ask him la.
Me to Dad: Daddy, can buy lunch for me? Buy laksa.
Daddy: Ok.
Me to Mom: Daddy say ok alr. He helping me buy laksa.
Mom: LAKSA? SO HOT YOU STILL WANT EAT LAKSA! you know daddy la, you ask him buy now he half and hour later then go buy one. You going with him to buy ah?? How to park??
Me: .............. Fine nevermind I go cook maggi mee la =.=
.
.
.
(2 mins later)
Daddy: ok i go buy now, laksa right.
Mom to Dad: Huh you want to go buy ah? how to park.... somemore so hot idk why she still want to eat.
Daddy: give me the keys i go buy. (leaves house to buy laksa)
Me: SEEE EVEN DADDY NEVER COMPLAIN, WHY YOU COMPLAIN? YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE ONE EATING WHY YOU COMPLAIN HOT!
Mom: I think of it feel v hot alr ma.......

WIN :D

Dad rocks.

(Ps, caps doesnt rep. shouting, it rep. talking in an unhappy tone.)

and Mom rocks for letting me go out so much.

and still giving me 10 bucks for the whooooooooooole darn day.

I didn't think she'd give me any.

Another tiring day. nevertheless, fun.

woooooosh!!
Hey, they don't crown me the best for nothing! *wink.


It's funny how I remember a twin's birthday but totally forget about the other :P
heeeeheeee/

ciao, gonna watch some cable.

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

"And may our friendship be forever and always" - YaaaaaaamSeng!
-
just came home, just bathed.
im so exhausted. gaah.

Its like a one way thing.
no, not one road kind of one way.
one way as in, its only coming from me.

Im way too tired to touch my A math hmwk, sorry Mr F.
But i'm willing to sacrifice my energy for my friends.
-
Whenever we doubt, even the slightest, the shield weakens and It feeds on the thought.
soon, the shield depletes till It comes straight at us, and we can't get it out.
Therefore, we must strengthen that shield.
I will not let It feed on your doubt and discouragement.
I will reinforce the shield.

Ah, metaphors. This came to me in a dream, a vision.
Time to complete my art.

^if i didnt know what i was talking abt, this would be a pile of rubbish.

I don't really like you... So irritating :(
-
Woke up late today, Late for school today. hah.

okay, just 3 more days!
Haha i think, out of 5 weekdays this week, imma only have dinner at home once :P
kewl.

Today:
Movie>Shopping>Sushi Tei
(Y)

tmr = hang over day.

okay. i did chem hmwk tonight. Well done gloria.
*pats myself on my back*

excited for my june hols plansssssss!!!
but im really worried that i'd neglect my studies - which im supposed to do hardcore this month. :((
soooooo, imma make it a point to make an effort to attempt to study every night!
DO OR DIE! ( my foot -.- )
sigh i really really really need to do some work or im dead for o's :(

thank God for giving me the inspiration to initiate study camp.
but all i can think of is fun and games :(((((
whyyyyyyyy!


melp.

Something I learnt today:
wanna weaken your opponent?
Go for the biceps.
Someone totally nudged my in the arm today during the game and I felt so ......:S

and my last minute jumping routine seems to help me jump more during the game. haha.
;)

Sweaty :(

today was like a adsfbuilashbgu4 day. in a bad way.

It's weird how other people talk to me about Z as if they had known Z for ages when they haven't even formally met Z.
word spread fast.
-
Honestly, I dont like to do this but I've gotta let some things out.

you know what's one thing i REALLY dislike about my mom when she starts scolding me abt my results ?
sigh. i doubt anyone could understand.
its like when i talk to her abt my friends and stuff when she's in a good mood, its fine.
when she's angry at me she turns it around and uses it to scold me.
-.- im not gonna share with her about my life -.-

Hear this, Never compare me with my friends.
Never. Adopt them if you freakin like.
Perhaps im not smart and hardworking and good enough for you.
Yeah, I'm happy go lucky, im not serious.
But at least I enjoy my life.

Many similarites, and differences..........
conflicting ideologies and perspectives.
-
Was so bumped out today.
close to falling asleep during every lesson.
like hang over sia!
My eyes are on the board, my mind's twenty million miles away.
-
I've gotta stand up on my own.
Face situations and wilderness on my own.
Cuz at the end of the day, you're running you're own race.

cellies.

it used to be like a,
after i had a wild time, i'd be uber exhausted.
now its like a,
after i had a wild time, i'm super awake.
like got too much oxygen in my brain it hurts :(
geeeeeez.
-
Imma flopp during tmr's lessons. oh goshh.
on the other hand, i have never been as enthusiastic during history lesson until today.

European dudes are so hawtt.

sup babe

wild > hangover. hahaha.
today was pretty good ;)
other than low budget. heh. loves,.
-
i just found out that it didnt require a bottle cap opener thing.
on the cap it says: twist >>>
LOL.

You spin ma head right round right roundddddd!
hahahaha.
-
Expo Food Sale (Y)
the only bad thing is that there's a weird concoction of food in your stomach as your rush to get free samples.

like, 3 pieces of bagua + kaya and bread + some weird tonic water = stomachache.
but still, fun.
Unleash the singaporean-ism in you as you rush to take free samples ;)
heee.

Realization hit me like a stone.
I have wasted more than 10 hours these few days playing maple.
=.=
okay enough man.
what a time waster!!
GAH. .

I think I need to plan out a time table for my june hols!
all i can think of now is go out go out go out :(
shucks la.
my mom keeps nagging at me these few days.... :/
ok i will start when trauncated starts - or so i say.

Oh yeah, I'VE GOT A NEW LAPTOP!
I've named it wolfy. but my sister refuses to play along :(
haha.

okay. catch ya later dudes!

Have you ever felt that emotions are so CONTAGIOUS.
:((
Oh bright, luminous, ever fiery object.
lol.

Let hope rise, darkness tremble in your holy light. That every eye will see Jesus our God, Great and Mighty to be praised~
-
I have my reasons for my absence.
Fakers.

trying to go back to piano but its friggin hard to figure out everything all over again................

Truly, ask and it will be given unto you.

Last night, I asked for an anointing today.
ask and it will be given unto you.
-
I've decided to let things go- again.
Even though im the losing party here, but I'd rather have peace than stay angry and upset.
Unhappy emotions are so tiring :(
So sick of 'em.
-
gonna habb an absolutely crazy day tmr mates!

For these few days that my parents aren't home,

Imma do some stuff that I wouldnt usually do when they're around.

Some really sentimental and me-time activities i guess...

I thought I saw God at my door. .

It's so coincidental how I always yell " LEE FOR LIFE!!!" at home!
(inside joke)

Leon James Dewyze is in the top 2!

my taste is always soooo good (:

But i gotta say, i think last yr's top 2 was better :X

God is good, *clapclapclap* all the time! *clapclapclap*

Is God GOOD OR WHAT!!!
A1 BITCHES. ;DDD


okay. latest, after changes to marks.

1 3 3 4 4 4 6 7
Bringing my L1R5 to 19!!
WOAHHHHHHHH.
PTL MAN. PTL.

I guess liking chem, paying attention in class ( esp cuz im sitting right in front), doing pre-exams revision till 1am, and studying for 20mins for chem the day before works WONDERS.

Credits: God, Paying attention in class and Pre-exams rev!!!

-

STOP trying to psych me.

I didn't realize how upset I was at my results.
I think we shouldn't tell ourselves that its ok, when its not.
'Cuz pressure builds up inside and you'll explode like a volcano over time.

5 days parent free.
I think imma burn down the house.
-
grades: 3334567

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. two more days....................
sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I've seen it too many times, this is how things always end.
Cold. Cruel. Silence.

-

Surprised at how E math turned out.
I was certain, for a moment, that I'd get a C.
But I got a B.

-

You know what's the worst type of smart people? Arrogant ones. yeah.

Do you know? That was the rudest thing you have ever done to me.

-
Last night-till almost midnight, I met with a very interesting person.
I listened way more than I talked.
There are many things to learn from him man..
I think what J said is true, when He's trying to tell us not to do something, He'll make things happen and force things such that you will realize what's going on.
J really got me thinking when i got home. Some similar experiences....
Sigh yeah, perhaps He's trying to tell me to fix my stability on Him.

Yeah, he made me realize that I have this stinkin' problem of Pride.
Not arrogance, the complete opposite.
-

Well today....
I'm actually pretty happy with Geog, although it was much lower than my expectations.
Just glad that my Human geog is finally getting better!
The rest?
toot.

It's like, a ship sank. right before I could try. oh sigh.

SOOOOOO EXHAUSTED :(
I think I can die if I go out tmr again.
Was feeling so so so tired at one point of time today I couldnt think properly and started like spouting nonsense.
feel soooo lethargic la!! AAAAAAH!!!
I feel like........

Well...... I think today went pretty good (:
It's funny, I feel nervous even though it passed. hahaha.
well im just superrrr glad that like, y'know,
I thought I'd always say the wrong words at the wrong time esp stuffs like these :S
yeah, not the smooth talker.

-
Have you ever wished that there was no choice in life?
It'd be easier. like, you wouldnt have to make choices.
you wouldnt get tempted, you wouldnt be unfaithful, you would not disobey.
life would be like urgh. but at least we'd be less of a sinner.

its like an angel came by, and took me to heaven.
-
I'm excited. but kind of nervous!!
wonder how it'll turn out manz.

peace.

I think I habb this sub-conscious aspiration to be a rapper.
lol.
Eminem (Y)

Once again, the papers that i do nott really study for turns out to be easier.
I think its psychological.
hopefully its gonna save my Add math marks man.
P2 was baaaaaad :S

gonna pack some stuffs for tmr naoooo~

You cant make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind
Please dont waste my time, time, time, time, time
Im not tryin to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind
I wish our hearts could come together as one
-
Loser, yea you -.-

feeeling reaaaaal tired now :(
whenever I have wild days, I end up feeling like this. ;/

well anyway!
today's papers were not baaaaad.
fortunately, chem wasnt like incredibly hard or anything.
cuz I didnt really study.
spent yst like mugging geog.
and geog was tough...
i guess its a good thing actually, that i studied for the more difficult paper.
HENG AH.

Imma ( im gonna) eat dinner, bathe, watch tv, sleep.
think there's some real cool movie tonight at 1030+++
:DDD

I need a painkiller :(
-
I hardly touched anything today.
im as good as shit tmr.

Our Story's Told.

I wasted my weekends!
I hardly touched anything too darn lazy :(

gosh, I think the dream I had last night was meant to tell me something.
It was about today.... but I ignored it and carried on with my life :(
damn, that's the thing about me ...

Tyler Swift. cool.

4 out of 5 confirmed. STOKEDDDDDDDDD!! :D
-
Been restored.
glad some issues were finally being settled today.

Have you ever had the feeling of, I want to talk about it, but I dont wanna talk abt it? ://

Take a chance on the thought that you wouldn't stay
Haven't found a place where you feel ok
And you fear
You're missing out on priceless days

Can't get back to the start when you were brand new
Forgetting all the things that we used to do
Disappear
I think I'm gonna need a few, but I'm singin'

Leave a light on for me
Just in case we meet in time
Leave a light on for me
But for now, close the blinds

I feel like sleeping from now till 9am tmr and then chiong history.
seriously not in the mood for anything manz.
k you know what im not going to talk tmr. at all.
imma sit in the corner and act anti-social so no one will force me to talk.

Ohh puffer fish, stop blowing things up.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. we had a laugh today right? :XXX
..........
-
Hchinese was avg.
Ss wasn't too good.
Gg wasn't too bad.

good thing for the day was that,
I fell asleep last night studing for geog.
SO i didnt touch natural veg at all!! O.O
thankfully there were no odd qn combinations that forced me to take that topic.
PTL.
-
and it seems like yesterday it was just a dream
but those days are gone and just memories

should I be feeling guilty?
gah. hey, friends have secrets between each other right.........
i admit it was my fault for lying ( though i don't rmb lying)
goodness. wdv.
-
I thought of a new insulting phrase for __: go avalanche down mt st helens la!

bitten by a croc. clip. -.-
painful okay!

Now, who said I couldn't draw??? :DD

she dedicated that to me on her blog! :O
honored!

Unless I study at a speed of a snail, I'll konk out.
I realised whenever I try to feed information into my head like within a short period of time, I end up sleeping on the sofa zzzz.
However, when I study at a slow speed, I can stay at the same spot and study for a few hours.

How Queer.

oh and, yingx made my day! :P
got this rather random short note from her, ON A UNIVERSAL STUDIOS JAPAN PAPER.
hahaha! (Y)

Gosh I've never been so disciplined!!!!
I didnt finish my A math yst (tempted by tv)
so decided to wake up earlier today.
I've never woken up so early on a saturday( When I have a choice to sleep till 11)
okay, gotta chiong more subs.

GOOOO.

cable tv (Y). till 2nd may.
midnight movie date with my momma tonight!
hahahah

I've got lots of reflecting to do tonight. And math.

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now .......
-
Burst my bubble :( 70hrs free only :((

Fantasies.

I think I overstretched my leg muscles ;(
secured 2 As for my napfa.
but still real upset over my 2.4
-
Every girl wants a fairy tale ending.

I bruised my palm while attempting to do smth cool today..
no pain no gain!
It actually hit my bone and sent a stinging pain through the left side of my hand!
:s
but I kept laughing lol!
After all, since young, I had been taught to laugh over pain.
-
You live and feed on people, gossips and matters that don't even concern you.
You rake up the past when you know why we don't talk about it.
Furthermore, you switch sides and support the other party when you know what happened.
somethings are just not meant to be said.
The next time you do that to my friends, you're dead.
I'm particularly touchy about how people treat my friends.

shivers down my spine.

out of the blue conclusions that doesn't seem to be reliable..... :S

Lol, you're so....... vertic!

I spent 4 hours last night clearing my chinese hmwk, only to find that wls didn't come -.-
I slept at 12am cuz of that! :@@@@@@@
MYEs in a week. havent started on a damn thing. AHHHH,.

whenever I hesitate, I tell myself: It's now or never. If I don't do it now, I'll regret it forever.

today was pretty good! spent quite a lot of money though :(
but quite worth it la, both meals were of decent quality!

I think my experience in __ really helps me a lot when playing __. hehh.

didnt touch my books today. so effing dead.

oh yeah chem was crap.

Charming.

I forgot to bring my snacks to school today :/
i received bad news today.:(
Singtel isn't bringing in anymore new choc bl40 :((
looks like I've gotta search for something new.
it was theonly phone that had caught my eye after so long!!
gaaah. damn disappointed.

Charming.

I forgot to bring my snacks to school today :/
i received bad news today.:(
Singtel isn't bringing in anymore new choc bl40 :((
looks like I've gotta search for something new.
it was theonly phone that had caught my eye after so long!!
gaaah. damn disappointed.

Earth Day

If I had the power, I'd crown Z the most kp person on Earth.
but Y and Z makes funny people!

Woah, though it got confiscated, I think we were daaaamn lucky just now nv kena anything worse!! *Phew!

Today's like - ugh, *rolls eyes and plops on the table.

is it me or were lessons incredibly boring today?

I think im falling sick!!!!!
:( sob.

True friends stand up for you,even when you're not there. They do more than "back you up".

I think its my first time I've ever felt how great it is to have awesome friends who stand up for me. (Y)

okay, I do suck at comforting people :P

A little disturbed this weekend, upon discovering the problems my friends have,
sometimes I really don't know what to say to help :/
sigh.

bright side: study camp was a brilliant idea. - by me!

tired.
CREEEEEEPS!!
so fun la. it made my head hurt after a while though....

Movie List:
Ju-on - The Grudge - White And Black Ghost
Shutter Island
Book of Eli.

2 of which are NC16 =.=

My mom is HESITATING TO BUY ME THE PHONE TMR.
gosh its like so predictable.
But I MUST HAVE CHOCOLATE!

lol funny conv tdy.

Oh you getting LG phone ah, Lollipop or Ice Cream?
CHOCOLATE.

my fingernails got so long I couldnt write properly . I was so annoyed so i cut them off (:

gah im seriously damn distracted today.

ever since morning la. I couldnt concentrate on anything.

gahgahgah.

I must have been too damn tired

TK Band ♥ Gold is Good!

Today,
TK Band was absolutely awesome.
When I saw them out on the field ( indoor stadium) I was just so darn proud.
So proud to have an awesome band, such a skilled drum major, such a wonderful group of colour guards.
Cheering every time they did something superb.
I feel so honored and proud to have such an awesome outdoor band!
Each and everyone of us acknowledge and applaud for your huge amount of effort being put in for this competition.

IMO, its our band that unites our school together. (seriously)
what other time are we as united? ://

TK Band ftw, I still regret not joining after 4 yrs.
Too late. But I'll always give them my absolute most support!!

TK Band, you'll never know how proud I am of you guys!
To see you all put up such an amazing performance, I'm just so in awe!
♥

I say all these from the bottom of my heart.

I've never really said this before, but I'm DAMN PROUD to be a TKSIAN.

Today is JUST MY DAY! ( not sarcastically)

woah today was so great la can.
it all started with my A maths test.
followed by completed hmwk and so on.
duty at St Hilda's was pretty fine.
A bit hard to gou tong.
but it was nice to send the auntie back to her house.
It was like the MOST CHINESE I've ever talked to someone in a conversation!!!
woah. im so impressed!!
like a real conversation, all chinese. no sudden stops. ((:
feel pretty good.

CCA,... interview. nothing too much.

then dinner w mates after long hesitation by N. ((:

TONIGHT WAS GOOOODD.
woah I talk and laugh until my throat so dry alr!
so long since I've been out late :///

naise.

Actually, I wanted to talk all night and not go home. feels good to be out late.

and yeah actually i was home SUPER LATE.
i was supposed to be home straight after dinner. ( like 8pm)
ended up reaching home at 11pm :P
-
tmr, stoked!
GO TK BAND! :D
anoneh pakukeh.

Legaci

LG New Chocolate Bl40, Please be mine!
so pretty :(
-
when you're online, i'm not.
when i'm online, you're not.
zzz. we've got to fix a time -.-

Messiah,

by the time my dad comes home, im alr at the table doing hmwk, so he prolly thinks i've changed and am v hardworking now!!
today he came back and asked:
D: so what time did you sleep last night?
G: err, 10. :X ( lol i actually fell asleep reading history on the couch)
D: oh its ok one step at a time ah, yst 10 today 1030!
G: :D *heaves sigh of relief.
; on the other hand, my mom's like:
<: you were supposed to sleep at 11 last night and you slept at 10! next time you better drink coffee or something to wake yourself up!!
G: :// :(
-
Lol, really naggy la.
but whatever it is, i really appreciate both of them (:
kind of happy gonna get new phone soon!
is LG New Chocolate good?

We are broken

Sorry :( bah.

after such a long day, the first conv i get on msn is from ___ abt ___. I want to poke your eyeballs out, seriously.

-

You may be able to lie without changing expression,

But I'd never said I trust your words. (:

Hahahahaaaa.

-

I felt today was pretty great!!

Service was good, feel real good to hear the salvations from the TGIF events!

Ps did a magic trick, it was kind of predictable, but i have NO IDEA HOW HE DID IT.

it wasn't a complicated trick or anything but ....... o.o

lunch, cell.

ok the after part was a little depressing,ranting about how life sucks....

then i got a great idea to have a study camp!

had dinner with family and relatives at Sakura

waiters are real skilled. loud and annoying children.

i think Sakura is overrated :///

well whatever it is, im really full now and its gonna be my bed time soon :(

I think my dad's damn cool.
he was so cool abt my results. COMPARED to my mother.
i mean, he did lecture me and all, but he did it very cooly and very maturedly. he didnt scold.
hahah. he was much more positive than my mom .
although he was like, "with your results i dont think you can even go poly -.- "
but my mom's like " you results like that you no need go jc no need go poly go out and work la!!"
my dad was like trying to help me tackle the problem why im not scoring and stuff.
lucky day for me, he must be tired from his flight back :P
*heaves a sigh of relief
-
I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening.
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours

Who knew this paramore song speaks about faith!

yesterday ROCKED.

-(class outing) for the first time in my entire life I did not suck at pool!!( or wtv its called la) gosh i rmb the last time i played with v they all, i was like practically a loser on that table. who ever was on my team sure lose alr.

But not anymore! woah idk what got into me, suddenly i was like queen of the table......

Beginner's luck la.

Pool is supposedly one of my worst sport ;p

TGIF was pretty good.

really proud of Jingyi for sharing her testimony!

brave one (:

there were like what, 40 ppl crammed into the place.

lucky joel's house is ULTRA BIG.

with 2 DOGS.

the small dog is cute!! but it barks a lot and bites :/

the bigger dog is (not as) cute. but it doesnt bark so much!

it lets us stroke him.

and it sits when we tell him to!

AHH :D

i think i smelled like a dog yst after i came home.

even after i bathed....

vivian ( the dog ) was like slobbering all around me.

AROUND me. smelly :(

oh yeah! my sense of direction has never been so good!

played Basketball during PE today!

DAMN FUN.

and tiring -.-

haha dominance!

i think basketball is fun in a way cuz you can be super rough.

push here push there.

-

sports day was alright.

TK BAND ALL THE WAY!

real stoked for syf!

-

I remember having that talk on the bus,

talking about how friends have deprioritized us for others more important.

I rmb it all, I think its a phase that everyone goes through....

note: continue topic with T next fri

LOL, GHANDI.
( this was really random it just popped into my head )
today's assembly was quite, interesting.
I think parts of it are quite true lor... :/
stomachache ah.
-
well anyway, today i finally got the guts to show my mama my progress report
after procrastinating for 1 week ;/

I decided to be responsible by not waiting till she was leaving the house then show her the report.

she lectured me for about 20 to 30mins? gaaah.

it's been a long time since she lectured me la :///

well anyway in the end she decided not to sign my progress report.

its not surprising to me la, she said that like lots of times before.

I'm cut off from all technological communications :((((

the only reason why im here now its cuz my mom went out.

I'm proud that my life can still function without those devices.

I hate bad technology.

at least i know my life doesn't revolve around it.

heard something real encouraging today! (:

I'll get to the bottom of this.

weather's nuts. first it was darn hot. then now its raining v heavily.

physics was so screwed. I couldnt think at all la.

some headache-y thing i guess.

You're such a ______ you know... In ____ __your friends, you scold _ _____ in almost every sentence. You ____, you ___. In front __ ____ ______, you're an angel. Why??

Only hear the good stuff, my friend.

LOLzx.

okay geography. :(

okay feeling better after sleeping and eating and watching korean drama and doing work!
so shall blog about happy things!
(happy thoughts people!)

okay friday was amazing.
it actually wasn't my slot (scheduled time) to go, but i just went anyways.
it was the only time and day i could make it.
on the way there, ( I was late -.-) i was trying to quieten down my heart and stop thinking abt anything else.
and yeah. He was definitely there.
the minute i stepped into the hall, everything changed.
Haven't been feeling this overwhelmed in a long long time :/
Sermon was very good.
perhaps people use/wear it for a fashion statement. but to me, it serves as a reminder about the reason for my very existence. -sometimes i just forget.
I feel so blessed. All the 'debt' i owe is gone cuz of what he had done for me.
sometimes I feel really undeserving. like I'm so darn small and well, just real small in this big big world. but it's all good. God's all good.

So came back around 11pm, next day had tribe run.
signed up for 10km with the cell.
Lol to be really really honest, its not that hard to run 10km.
you just need company.
if not you'll prolly bore yourself in the final 5km. seriously.
I had company! Hannah haha.
it was rather funny cuz we ran abt 5km alr, then felt real tired and HOT.
so we walked whenever we were in the shade, ran when we were in the sun to get to the shade. LOL.
then started doing weird stuff. like swimming while running and other stuff...
Met Jx on the way, he had leg cramp :S he ran 20km!!
woahzx.

had lunch, crazy stuff, then movie at marinasq.
how to train a dragon! (?)
really cute laaaaaa. no one will deny abt that!
trained to Beeshan, granny's.

my legs are aching right now :(
but there had been worse.
feels great to conquer such a distance. okay my timing wasn't great or anything la. but at least now I can say I ran 10km :P
okay, the next time I run 10km again i'll be serious!

This weekend was super busy ...

there were so many things I had to think about, but I had no time.

- How to pass my mom my progress report ( not done)

- What to write in my testimony ( not done)

-TGIF guestlist ( DONE)

gaah firstly, my progress report.

I think its my worst ever progress report :((

you wouldnt know how depressed i feel.

I can't even account for my horrible results.

I can imagine others giving their reports to their parents, and their parents will be so damn proud.

and mine.................... effing higher chinese pull down my %.bitchbitch knnnnn.

efff .

and you know what. others got higher than me when they dont even deserve it.

shameless.

testimony- I really dont know what to write la. can't be really bothered actually.gah.

k those are the horrible parts of the wkend.

friday night was really great.

saturday morning was really great.

I completed 10km and I got a cert to prove it.

watched movie after that and then granny's house.

church this morning, im actually home quite early today.

my mood is really drooopy now :(

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SINGAPORE IS DAAAAAMN COOOL AHHHHH I WANNA GO LAAAAAA
http://www.rwsentosa.com/language/en-US/MapsUSS
CHECK IT OUT PEOPLE!!!
SOMEONE TAKE ME THERE PLZZZZZZ.
it'll be my second Universal Studios :DDDDDD
AHHHHHHHH
STOKEDSTOKEDSTOKED.
( for nothing :( )

I realised my life is so normal!
its not bad, but its just really normal.
was talking abt it on the bus today.

I'm hardworking in school(I try la okay hahaha),
i'm active in my CCA.
I'm active in church,
i have good friends,
i have a good family,
i like sports,
i like music.
o.o I feel so balanced.
and I'm not specially interested in something out of the ordinary.
I'm so... normal.
Maybe I should take up a new hobby.

(after much thought) I know being normal is good.
many people wished the could be normal. I should be contented.
but you know, we always want more once we have it.
There's something MISSING!
i should try inventing something. hahaha

you could have be destined for much greater things.
but perhaps this is the way things should go.
at times, i wanted to ask you, do you think this is right?
geeeeeez. I want to help.......
-
the only lesson that i try to sleep in is CHINESE.
use my hand to cover my head so he cant see my eyes closed.

Slow Sundays

I wouldn't apologise, I'd say " what's your problem ".
-
always the last one running out of the house!

today was good.
I want a dream. and I think I've been given one.

S CUBE!

when everyone's just so darn nervous,[including yourself - till your fingers start to turn cold ( happens when im real nervous)], just put on a brave front.
Pull up the courage. Tell everyone; its gonna be okay, chill, breathe...
Tell yourself; its just another competition, it don't matter, dont freak out.
PRAY HARD.
-
Spent last night at Christopher's house.
.
.
.
.
Finally the day came, after rushing our rehearsals!
(okay super idiotic at the earlier part in school, nv tell us info beforehand, must wait till we find out by ourselves -.-)
.
.
.
.
.
super freaked.
.
..
..
.
.
. I think we rocked it. Or I feel good at least :P
.
.
.
Swensens and talked ((:

Am I supposed to know? .........
-
i think in whatever we do, we must always try to enjoy doing it.
If we dont do it for fun, what's the point...
tomorrow's the day... - whatever!
main highlight - TONIGHT :D


Don't laugh; we're trying.

I AM DAAAAAAAAAAMN HAPPY!

the headache/brain-tumor symptom thing has STOPPED!

after I ate panadol this afternoon.

it was so horrible la.

it kept hitting throughout the night, couldnt sleep :(

gaah.

-

bitch. it just came back.

:'(

got bored, went to search about some artists on the internet.

It started from just a song with a lot of hate towards God. More of questions, "why" It's about the disappointment, the heartache, the let down that comes with life. Sometimes you’re let down, sometimes you’re the one who lets someone else down. It gets hard to know who you can trust, who you can count on. This song came out of a tough time, and I’m still right in the thick of it. There’s some difficult circumstances my family and friends have been going through over the past year or so and can be overwhelming. It wears on me. It demands so much of my faith to keep believing, keep hoping in the unseen. Sometimes the tunnel has a light at the end, but usually they just look black as night. This song is about that feeling, and the hope that I still have, buried deep in my chest.

pondering over it.

well anyway, I got this really strange/peculiar/weird/out of the ordinary headache :(
it's been here since last night.
like short sharp pains at the back of my skull, right next to my left ear.
when it comes it leaves me with a tightened, (rather constipated) look on my face.
then it's gone and im back to normal.
gaaah. freaking annoying.
this morning, i had this rather sudden muscle pull on my arm.
and now i cant straighten my left arm. or it'll hurt.
so im walking around now, with my left arm staged like a robot.
90degree angle.
my head is fixed on my neck, not moving left or right or up or down.
i figured whenever i do that, the pain comes.
so i look pretty much like an idiot right now and i have no idea why i am tell you all this.

just bloody bored, my friends.
come talk to me. i'll give you a treat.

kisses;

The people who I want to talk to, dont want to talk to me.
The people who I dont want to talk to, pian pian come talk to me.
-.-

I'm kind of STOKED FOR CAAAAAAAMP!

dictionary.com :

stoked   [stohkt]
–adjectiveSlang.
1. exhilarated; excited.
2. intoxicated or stupefied with a drug; high.

yea. but its like a kind of. i think i'd be damn shagged when day 2 ends.

its 11.30pm i feel like i should do my hmwk but im uber lazy.

://

and I think, YOU deserve better.
Appreciate the trust you have in me but I don't really know how to help you :/
cheer up and stop stressing out yeah (:

I feel real awake, out of a sudden. Haha.
okay. I finally feel like talking again.
but my teeth still hurts :(

wed - GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :D
thurs - dinner w.
fri to sun - camp.
if only camp didnt have to be on sunday la.
i had plans.

some people said I deserve better.

i like the idea that we share our life stories.
its not like a "i dont really know much about you but im talking to you anyway" conv.
more of a " oh yeah i know your problems and your life and you know mine so i feel more comfortable with you" kind of conv.

we don't hide things from each other (:
- okay sure got one la-
but i just feel more at ease talking to them.
i dont feel judged.
its like, we tell each other things that we never dare to tell others.
cuz it might seem really weird.
or they just would not understand.
lol but i actually found people who does the same -coughs- things that i do.
hahahaha. cool.

i like the idea of having combined cell actually.
-exp some of them are quite ___!!
-
you wouldnt believe what kind of day i had yesterday.
sun burn, 6km run.
whole body aching.
even while i was sleeping, i couldnt have a piece of mind.
i had four dreams.
all of which pointed to 1 common conclusion.
FOUR DREAMS.
maybe its because i've been thinking a hell lot about it, till i even dream about it.
perhaps even more than that.
the dreams weren't good at all, fyi.
geeez.
-
thousands or firey arrows are being shot at me right now.
and cuz i'd let my guard down, i got hit.

Today: gave that face of disappointment and pondered over the meaning everything; my life, people.

Just another average day.,
no actually its just today.

I don't wait for a free day to come by, I make time to make a day free.
if only everyone did that.
no such thing as " no time" or "too busy" anymore.
-
its going to be like the most depressing weekend of the year ever.
:((((((((

thinking of planning a really hot and wild party after o's.
:DDD
or we can start during march camp. hahah.

bloody fed up.
my bro is being such an ass this weekend, i swear.
usually he's not that annoying, useless and stupid.
but this weekend he's like so idiotic la urgh.
(forgive me for saying this)
this is like the first time this year that he pissed me off.
-.-

anyway
this whole week was rather eye opening, i felt.
its like, people whom i've known for 4 years, ever since sec1,
i've seen their true colours. ( ok i mean the bad side of the person la)
geeez.
one's so darned self centred, and throws shit at his friends just to benefit himself.
and when i asked, he gave some lame excuse.
oh come on la. you will never fit in with those people man.
look at yourself -.-
the other's so darned bitchy. bitchy. bitchy.
haiz. ew. what a disappointment. arrogant.

sacrifices, oh sacrifices.

yesterday was alright.
flag day. really hoped that i've inspired my (REALLY) shy pair to open up to the public! hahaha.
overhearing a stranger's conversation was damn freaky i dont think i'll ever forget it :S
okay, first time hearing that right out of someone's mouth mah!
i have a feeling im gonna stereotype ppl from now on!
eeeeeeeeeeeek!
played with hammies and crippled some of them :P
jokerrrrrr! macs!

oh and. COUGHS LOOKED AT ME.
happy for the day. hahahha.
(gosh this is so stupid la! :P)

the week is finally over, and im coping well; 35

i think shot putt is pretty fun.
looool.
i think my hand spasms will worsen :P

i think PT today was goooooood!!
I feel good after shouting.
hahhaha.
nice job people (:
we should do this every week.
very stress relieving hahahaha.
im serious.

dindin with my mates (:
-
I HAVE NOT been thinking of " omg i got no life" for like quite a while
\m/
this is what i need (:
coming home at 6 to 7 on schooldays,
sometimes at 9 when i have dinner outside.
oh so stress relieving.
i dont even do much hmwk anymore lol.

i feeel gooood,.
but. i need to do my work, seriously -.-
im either getting Fs, or As.
whattheheck.
and i actually studied for one of the Fs, must be getting rusty :S

36.

PE sucked -.- ttm.
chem supp after school was fun!
started splashing water at ppl, and it looked like my armpits were drenched in sweat :P
drama kind of seems fun haha.