Haha, today was so ----------.
omg in school i was like so troubled,
i couldnt decide what to do in the afternoon.
i had too many options..........
in the end went pp with s and d.
im embarrassed and shy and so i'll skip this part :X

haha. then went to st margret's.
epic fail i wasn't prepared to talk to security guard.
but got what i came for man.
then...............
you know, i have been to places which i wasn't supposed to. I have bought things and took things that I wasn't supposed to.
I have been pretty sneaky.
But never had I ever taken another person's identity!
LOOOOOOL.
omg it was almost fail.
perhaps the person suspected me :S
hahaha. thank god the principal ( of a school i had NEVER ATTENDED) wasnt in.
almost kena have to meet her. i wouldnt know what to do sia.

its prolly not what you ppl think,
but anw it was a hell of an experience.
and actually im glad i did experience it.
i learnt to act and manipulate. hahaha.
what a day.

and someone owes me a movie for postponing so many times -.-

Would you trust someone who you'd been good friends with for four years or a real close friend that you had learned to trust for a year?
And it gets really complicated when both are each other's enemies.
I really don't know who to trust.
I had seen one change a lot all these years,
I had heard not very nice things abt the other.
But both are real good to me.
Its getting confusing now cuz one is imposing a ban on me from making contact w the other.

Well. Happy birthday jiejie!!
I'll play happy birthday on the guitar for you when you come back.
It'll be a major screw up cuz i can't even switch chords but that doesn't matter eh!
Its the thought that counts :) lub lub

A true friend won't blow you off for someone else. or at least she'd tell you in advance.
it wasn't abt company, it was abt whether you had cared at all.
i dont like to send sms-es twice.

either you reply or you ignored it.
fyl.

-
this is the exact feeling that triggers it all.
disappointment, unhappiness, anger.....
then there's this voice in your head that tells you exactly how to take it all away.

Many answers and ideas can be found on the internet.
But there's one thing that you can never find it there, though many alternatives are provided.
But none of them satisfy you. Cuz you crave perfection. Not too cliche, something deep, something priceless.
You want everything to be perfect so you plan months ahead.

Stressing out sia.

It killed me to say those words today. Gah.
Killed me .

My fingers are so numb now, ty mr koh for today.

I am so exhausted now.

Daddy's back. please fix the toilet!
apparently, the plumber ran away -.-
toooooooooot. hahahahhaha.

1. pump soccer and bballs
2. spend some time with friends
3. pick up some guitar skills

ploop.

i feel so emotional after watching a documentary. on jellyfish.
i hate jellyfish to the core man!!!!!!!!!!:@@@@@@
keep killing ppl though its so darn tiny.
KEEP KILLING MY YUMMY FISH.
reproducing like ___ machine.
I want to like eliminate all jellyfish in the world now.

I actually felt happy when i saw fishermen killing the jellyfish (:
but later i found out that when they do that, billions of jellyfish eggs are released -.-

why did God create jellyfish :(((
unhappy sia.
they're like, ultimate venom weapon.

Choose between 'bro' or 'bro' ?
Who would you trust

my first time, my heart was racing, my hands were turning cold.
I didnt know if i was gonna make it through.............
debating within myself about which excuse to use.
and it was over in 2 minutes. own.
let's party.

I wanna marry i man with music talent.
I'm so jealous of talented musicians.
My right fingers bled and my left fingers went numb yesterday.
Last night was cool.
Drums are freaking cool but it'd be awesome if i could play guitar as well.

the friends i have really open my eyes to the world.
i say again, LOOKS ARE DAMN DECEIVING!!!
omg. really, people are never what they seem :(

I think I'm really v lousy and loser-ish at times. Tsk.
-
I bet I'm the only stupidd one out there who's preparing for tmr's e math test:( well better be safe then sorry don't wanna waste my marks on stupid careless mistakes and end up w a scolding from mom. And e math is so easy i hope its as easy as those past year papers in the book.

Really really don't like tense situations. On one side i wanna stay by what i believe in, but on the other hand i do not want to be some dumb fool and close my ears to everything i don't want to hear. When people say things that conflict with what i believe in, i feel quite insulted but i don't want to argue and makes the atmosphere so hostile. So i try to keep quiet and just listen to everyone's view. I want to know what are other ppl's perspective to all this. I don't want to bimenzaoche . Or is it jingdizhiwa.

Yea everyone's entitled to their own view..
How i wish everyone had the same abt religion.
Sigh. I feel like its my fault now.. what i thought was good turned out to become something bad..

Really don't know what to do when stuff like these happen

I think that thinking that you have a brain tumor is just a phase that everyone faces . facing it now! goodness.

rest your hand (:

Yesterday was the first time i heard someone sing opera-ish and honestly thought. THAT'S DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN AWESOME. Woah! Power sia.

And i hate falling asleep in the audi:( scary.

its funny how when i study for tests, i dont do so well.
and when i dont study i do well.
i shouldnt have studied for chem today man, im not gonna do well :/

LOL. i just survived 9 hours in school today!
another 8.5 tmr, then 7, then 8.5, then 8.

Sometimes people just need to know that they're not the only ones suffering.

9 hours of school tmr. And i can't drink coffee. Oh my gosh.
Its ok Jesus suffered a hundred millions times worse than this for me.

Today during worship, God spoke to me- believe it or not i hardly ever hear anything from him.
"Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil,for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me."

Yea thats what i needed to know. That though it seems that others have failed me, I'm not alone.

All that i am, all that i have,
I lay them down before you o lord.
All my regrets, all my acclaims,
The joy and the pain I'm making them yours.

Lord i offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord i offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord i offer you my life.

-
lead me not into temptation and deliver me from the evil one.

On the way back home tonight. I was thinking, why couldn't our lives be so much more easy such that we did not have to hide our feelings and emotions in front of others, and we did not have to cover our faces whenever we were outside.
Why do we have to put on such a front when we're dying inside?

I'm out of energy already.

Ok, I'm home now. Pull it together and walk through that door.
Its a vicious cycle.

This is so so so absurd. I'm really really dumbfounded. The world is crazy. My world is crazy. I really can't believe it. Oh my . The hidden truth is bloody gay. I don't know how to feel now. Really. I just feel like tearing up my undone homework and lie on the bed with my eyes wide open cuz i can't freaking sleep now. I feel like swearing but i can't cuz I'm fasting on swear words. God are you trying to push me to the limit. You know these few weeks, everything has been pointing to one single thing that i simply refuse to believe. The world must have more heart than this. Someone out there i beg you to prove me wrong.


But perhaps its not the world, but its me.

If whatever just happened is true, my life had been just a lie.whatever i had always believed in. What was hope in my eyes. None of which was real. My comeback. No. Nothing.

in future, i will not let my child drink alcohol till 16.
its actually really bad. it gives me a strong urge to drink when things go bad. like ah, people say, drink away your troubles- i'll prolly end up dead on the other side of the road.
alcoholism, bad.
-

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now.
-
my whole right leg is hurting so much right now :(
sigh why did i run for the bus.
hope i recover soon! - on the other hand, i finally have a real reason for taking the lift to geog class.

omg. I think I feel what you feel.
but not to such an extent.

what an understatement.

i think, its outside where its easier for ppl to maintain composure.
because when they're home alone, their thoughts run wild and they're most vulnerable.
gosh is bloody scary.

i think its just like, phases.

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain,
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh.
'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break, no it don't
break, no it don't break even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces.

You know what. I think i screwed my muscles today. All week long my thighs were aching from Sunday's prints. And today's shuttle run really did something to it. Thank God for Joyce or i would have lost my dignity. Haha. My legs are not aching, they feel numb and v tight.

And on queer headache thing came back again:( sigh. WOrst of times dude.

Life is so ______ i wanna run to a corner and stuff my head into a box.
What's new?

No one's that happy really.
Everyone's (faking) smiling and making jokes all the time trying to make life seem better and less sad.

And that's just so sad. Its making life seem like a burden.
Why couldn't we have been born in heaven.?

Oh god. Speech day totally ruined my day.
Not cuz of the event itself. I was actually really happy and proud of my friends who had achieved the award..
But when i came home my mom asked me who got the prizes and stuff and well the usual names came up.
Then she started all that talk abt how lousy my work is and how I'm an under achiever and how i will surely not get into a good jc. And how I'm neither as smart or hardworking as others. -.-

Sigh. _^_

When all your plans just have to fall on that single free day, prioritize and choose which item to miss out on.
i definitely know my priorities and those which are not important to me ;)) haha.

When you're good, you're the best.
When you're bad, you're the worst.

The Lord provides yea!!! Last night slept at 9 cuz i was feeling so tired!!!! So i only did my Chinese corrections then straightaway sleep. Mother didn't nag at me i think she prolly knew how tired i was. - my wc alarm woke the whole house. So had some really really good night sleep. And i had Chinese spelling and history full paper the next day. I didn't even take out my history book.
CHINESE SPELLING WAS MAGNIFICENT I SURE PASS !!!!! Damn happy:)
-i was chionging all the way since school started.
History test was rather not bad:) Germany came out and i had studied for it more than twice i think. :) and i chiong it in between:)

Today was a good but slightly chaotic day man..
Well i was attentive in class. Did not doze off or sleep or feel sleepy at all!-kopi
Coffee really benefits me! And on top of that, Mrs T indirectly praised me -and others:)
Yea. I like it when teachers praise me hahaha

Post world cup syndrome! Was so sleepy today! Many ppl in my class were too:) yea WC. Lol. Today during a math lecture. Funneh. I was dozing off. - for real, when i say I'm dozing off means i really am and not cuz i think its cool to sleep in class- then i suddenly realised, in my semi consciousness, that my head was heading towards the table !!! Then i suddenlm woke up and rescued my face from a collision with the desk. I felt like i was fainting. Lol. Just semi conscious-ish

GOD GIVE ME LESS THAN 10PTS AND 5 A1s FOR O LEVELS PLZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!

its my chance to strike some big cash!

STOP HARASSING HIM!!! >:((((
LOL~

I have this sudden urge to push someone!

it was so weird i fell asleep on the sofa this afternoon and woke up feeling so dehydrated and sickly.

went to bathe and decided that i will never sleep on the sofa ever again.

._.

q

u

e

e

r

.

I'm so glad i only reheard 'sleepless nights' by faber drive after i had gotten over it. Really. Its scary how i feel the song

Life thought. Family or freedom?
Some people I've asked see it this way.
Family = no freedom
No family = freedom.
But really, i believe we can have both.

Solo by Iyaz is such an awful song.
its just that 1 line spoils the song! -.-

really gotta do some work this weekend!
but sooooo darn lazy laaa.

I feel free, I complain.
I feel busy, I complain.
-.-

Heart Heart Heartbreak by blg sounds so unoriginal.

k off to do something productive.

Past few days had begun with a cup of coffee and a special time of learning. Not gonna chiong hmwk every morning now. Coffee has a great effect on me. I don't feel so sleepy in class now. I'll need a heavy dose of caffaine tmr though. Heavy.
If you start your day with a positive attitude, nothing will go wrong:)

Guess what. Coffee sucks the life out of me. Esp at night. Zzz

Not even the one who you feel closest to you can be trusted. What's the world turning into?

Why must there be family, relatives, school mates, church mates, best friends when ultimately the only person you can turn to and trust and will be forever is not in this list?
Why did God make our lives intertwine?

Life thoughts. Life thoughts.


P.s. my scheme damn fail can. It was so perfect until i found out that world cup on sat starts at 2.30am. Sob.

My life is sucking all over. And i know who is behind all this

A broken marriage = a broken family.

Note to self. If i ever fight with my husband, don't do it in front of my kids.

Sigh its either I'm naive abt all this or its really as serious as it seems.
But my family can't function without either of my parents.

I dont like it when ppl cheat my feelings :(
woah seriously . so annoying -.-

my pool skills were so lousy yst!!
but i still won. LOL -.-

yst me and sister were fighting over a top. cuz i planned to wear it today and she wanted to wear it today.
I think she hid it or something cuz I couldnt find it last night!!!!
then in the end i was like thinking, ugh wtv la shirt only -.-
this morning, she decided to let me wear! but i didnt feel like wearing so i let her wear. lol.
...z.

watching tv w papa.

i find it quite funny/unusual/queer sometimes.
like, my dad has been to china 54327859632875685 times, whereas the rest of my family hasnt actually been there before. - except for mother who went there for a day.
and the only time i went, it was school trip.
so ironical!!
the rest of us aren't big fans of china,.
and well its hard for dad to arrange fixed holidays w us these days....


andand.
the building that he had done like 25 years ago w his prev company, I get lost in it all the time -.-

slack day tdy.
weekends = hmwk and books don't you get close to me.

If i tell myself I'm tired i will be.
If i tell myself I'm happy, i will be.
-
Just came home not long ago.
2 things that really striked me today. Don't you find yourself quite at a spot sometimes. Like when you're facing the exact same problem that someone just ranted to you and asks you for advice. On one hand you yourself isn't coping well. You can't exactly provide any real source of comfort but just an answer you hope is true.

It was as if i was put there on purpose. Like i was part of a plan that fell PERFECTLY INTO PLACE. its pretty insane. From spending the exact amount of time at the mall, catching the train right on time, to reaching the station right on time to sprint to the arrived bus.
Or it was a darn crazy coincidence.

Thank God! I made it through last night!! Didn't fall asleep while doing 2000character tingxie corrections! It'll be the last time I'll ever do it. Bloody waste of time. Sigh and today's retest confirm fail.. sorry guys, he'll make us bu kao again -.-
Well happier thoughts!
Today was miraculously great! Even though i spent 4 hours completing my corrections till 12 i still made it through the day!
Pe was a blast! Our team's pretty good:)
Then during Chinese, teacher asked who never finish hmwk. More than half the class, including me, stood up. Hahaha. Deadline extension:)
And Chinese tuition was so funny today!! Hahaha.

Papa's coming back tonight:)

And last night was SO FUNNY CAN I WANTED TO LAUGH OUT LOUD BUT MY SIS SURE THINK I'M CRAZY