Why is it that only after i face rejection and loneliness that i realise there's that someone still there for me?

I'm in a drinking mood~

so much for sucking up

Today is such a demoralizing day :(((((
Can't believe Mrs L was so harsh....
:(
it really woke me up after she said that.
literally.
sigh.
.
.
.
she could have easily crushed all my hopes and led me into depression..
but no, im just real sad now.

Never had I heard ever a teacher say that so out right and direct.
I need to get help else where I guess.

I want a complete family too, don't you?
People always say that its alright cuz they understand the priority and that the sacrifice is worth it.
But its all a lie. That's not how the really feel.
How do I know?

Because i say that too.

Truly, you are real, but wwhere are you now?

I feel like I'm having CE lesson during tuition.
I learn more character values than chinese.

Today = spending spree.

orchard.

things doesn't seem to be smooth these days.
but, i dont want to bother abt such petty issues.

All the right words but all the wrong faces.

loll.
ok back from study camp!
I'd say this camp was both unfruitful and fruitful :P
unfruitful cuz i didnt manage to finish up my hmwk :/
but got do la of cuz!
my cell ppl really hardworking sia! really gotta learn from them......
must hardcore NAO.

fruitful cuz I learnt new skill!
HAHAHAHHAHA, OMG
1) COOOKING SKILLS FROM RUJIA~~
2) HARMONIZING FROM DEB. LOOOOL!!!!
hhahahha. omg so funneh.
last night, we stayed up till like 1+, just singing and doing some weird shit im embarrassed to say.
and well. learning to harmonize!
woah deborah is really a GREAT SINGER!!!
proud o' her man.
k. thus, i look forward to my next kbox session.

laser quest today was fun!
hahaha. goodness.
damn good exercise lor.
runrunrun like SIAO. SCREAM LIKE SIAO.
after the 1st round we all damn shagged liao.
headache, light headed.
craaaazy yo!
1st round: i was ranked 9 out of 10!
.......... LOL.
2nd round: 4 out of 10!!
\m/

okay. woah we prepare for almost EVERY MEAL!
(i was the junior/trainee chef)
haha. okay. definitely picked up some skills!

well other than those fun and crazy stuff,
I've really got some thinking to do......
sigh. Sometimes I find it really hard to connect .

Thank God for the right words today.
.
.
.
.
Wished my face didnt turn red so easily.

The world might not believe me. But You always had.
Others might misunderstand me. But You know me inside out.

It's really good to know that even if the world is against me, You're always here to back me up.

A burdened gift.
How's that?

Time has always been a fair test of someone's faith, commitment and passion.

JAAAAAAAMING IS SUPER UBER DUPER FUN CAN!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It was definitely worth it to spend 10 bucks on cab fare and be late for tuition( -.- ) for this!!! :DDDDDDD
OMGOMGOMGGGGG.

MUST GO AGAIN SIA.

MADE MY DAAAAAAAAY DUDES.

I WANNA FORM A BAND.

and I was damn surprised i could still play!
omg like i rmb that 4 useless lessons in sec 1
k not useless, just very simple that i could have learned on my own.
and lucky i had been self learning these years lo!
actually drums is quite easy lor.
drum fills anyhow hit also can sound nice. (with timing)
a little skill and some confidence ((:

Plan A.

Somehow, I feel that the amt of hmwk is pretty manageable.
after playing for 2 whole days.
gonna try to get some done tonight and tmr morn.

Plan A! (Y)
Not tipsy, just turned red for at the last moment.
failll. hahahhaha.
I think everyone's darn sick of Final Destination alr!
the movie so lousy can!!
For once, people noticed that i eat a lot!! :D :P :)

My first time at K box! LOL~
omg. hahahha.
quite exciting ;D
for a moment i thought I was gonna puke cuz I was jumping too much right after my lunch.

seriously.
I like to pretend im a superstar.

"Noddin' my head like YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (metal-screamo LOL)"

If it didnt cost that much, i'd go every week.
-
I'm getting the, oh nothing went wrong the first time, so imma do something even more dangerous and bold.
or, i want more thrill.

I have a really bad feeling......

oh goodness :/
my sleeping pattern's changed such that no matter how late i sleep, I end waking up at 7 or 8 :(
i dont know why I cant sleep any later than that........

I DREAMT THAT I GOT 5 POINTS FOR PRELIM. RAW SCORE.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!

You know, sometimes people forget how special they are.
-

Pray for self-control, hope things won't go too far....
its funny how people know the consequences, but yet still wanna go for it.
its the thrill, i guess ;) haha

Today as pretty gooood!

Glad X came (:

I have to praise my momma again man.

she damn merciful and graceous.

I was late for dinner, but she nv scold me, happy watching tv ;D

hahhaha.

cool.

and i really spent a lot of $$ these days :(

Me: Can ask daddy buy lunch for me?
Mom: You go ask him la.
Me to Dad: Daddy, can buy lunch for me? Buy laksa.
Daddy: Ok.
Me to Mom: Daddy say ok alr. He helping me buy laksa.
Mom: LAKSA? SO HOT YOU STILL WANT EAT LAKSA! you know daddy la, you ask him buy now he half and hour later then go buy one. You going with him to buy ah?? How to park??
Me: .............. Fine nevermind I go cook maggi mee la =.=
.
.
.
(2 mins later)
Daddy: ok i go buy now, laksa right.
Mom to Dad: Huh you want to go buy ah? how to park.... somemore so hot idk why she still want to eat.
Daddy: give me the keys i go buy. (leaves house to buy laksa)
Me: SEEE EVEN DADDY NEVER COMPLAIN, WHY YOU COMPLAIN? YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE ONE EATING WHY YOU COMPLAIN HOT!
Mom: I think of it feel v hot alr ma.......

WIN :D

Dad rocks.

(Ps, caps doesnt rep. shouting, it rep. talking in an unhappy tone.)

and Mom rocks for letting me go out so much.

and still giving me 10 bucks for the whooooooooooole darn day.

I didn't think she'd give me any.

Another tiring day. nevertheless, fun.

woooooosh!!
Hey, they don't crown me the best for nothing! *wink.


It's funny how I remember a twin's birthday but totally forget about the other :P
heeeeheeee/

ciao, gonna watch some cable.

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

"And may our friendship be forever and always" - YaaaaaaamSeng!
-
just came home, just bathed.
im so exhausted. gaah.

Its like a one way thing.
no, not one road kind of one way.
one way as in, its only coming from me.

Im way too tired to touch my A math hmwk, sorry Mr F.
But i'm willing to sacrifice my energy for my friends.
-
Whenever we doubt, even the slightest, the shield weakens and It feeds on the thought.
soon, the shield depletes till It comes straight at us, and we can't get it out.
Therefore, we must strengthen that shield.
I will not let It feed on your doubt and discouragement.
I will reinforce the shield.

Ah, metaphors. This came to me in a dream, a vision.
Time to complete my art.

^if i didnt know what i was talking abt, this would be a pile of rubbish.

I don't really like you... So irritating :(
-
Woke up late today, Late for school today. hah.

okay, just 3 more days!
Haha i think, out of 5 weekdays this week, imma only have dinner at home once :P
kewl.

Today:
Movie>Shopping>Sushi Tei
(Y)

tmr = hang over day.

okay. i did chem hmwk tonight. Well done gloria.
*pats myself on my back*

excited for my june hols plansssssss!!!
but im really worried that i'd neglect my studies - which im supposed to do hardcore this month. :((
soooooo, imma make it a point to make an effort to attempt to study every night!
DO OR DIE! ( my foot -.- )
sigh i really really really need to do some work or im dead for o's :(

thank God for giving me the inspiration to initiate study camp.
but all i can think of is fun and games :(((((
whyyyyyyyy!


melp.

Something I learnt today:
wanna weaken your opponent?
Go for the biceps.
Someone totally nudged my in the arm today during the game and I felt so ......:S

and my last minute jumping routine seems to help me jump more during the game. haha.
;)

Sweaty :(

today was like a adsfbuilashbgu4 day. in a bad way.

It's weird how other people talk to me about Z as if they had known Z for ages when they haven't even formally met Z.
word spread fast.
-
Honestly, I dont like to do this but I've gotta let some things out.

you know what's one thing i REALLY dislike about my mom when she starts scolding me abt my results ?
sigh. i doubt anyone could understand.
its like when i talk to her abt my friends and stuff when she's in a good mood, its fine.
when she's angry at me she turns it around and uses it to scold me.
-.- im not gonna share with her about my life -.-

Hear this, Never compare me with my friends.
Never. Adopt them if you freakin like.
Perhaps im not smart and hardworking and good enough for you.
Yeah, I'm happy go lucky, im not serious.
But at least I enjoy my life.

Many similarites, and differences..........
conflicting ideologies and perspectives.
-
Was so bumped out today.
close to falling asleep during every lesson.
like hang over sia!
My eyes are on the board, my mind's twenty million miles away.
-
I've gotta stand up on my own.
Face situations and wilderness on my own.
Cuz at the end of the day, you're running you're own race.

cellies.

it used to be like a,
after i had a wild time, i'd be uber exhausted.
now its like a,
after i had a wild time, i'm super awake.
like got too much oxygen in my brain it hurts :(
geeeeeez.
-
Imma flopp during tmr's lessons. oh goshh.
on the other hand, i have never been as enthusiastic during history lesson until today.