flashbacks.

I think I have amnesia. How timely.
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today was pretty alright! believing for more and greater things!
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ffff me im jealous.
bear with it, bear with it.
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'I've never cried so much in a year. compared to other years, this year is the most.'
brother, though you didn't see through me, know you're not alone.
I might be a 100 times more vulnerable than last year, but perhaps i've grown more compassionate too.

even now, im so vulnerable i can fall to pieces just being attacked by words.
but like in today's video, I know God can heal my wounds.
I used to really hate vulnerability. I used to think it showed people my weakness. I hated weakness. that resulted in my hardened heart.
I might be able forget some happy and bad times, but i'll always rmb the horrible times.
And though I'm hurting 1000 times more than I used to, I rather hurt than shut myself from God and the world.

People, don't harden your hearts cuz when you wake up, it really hurts.